Sunday, March 7, 2010

GIVING PATTERNS MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT

Leo Tolstoy said, "We do not love people so much for the good they have done us, as for the good we have done them."

Rate your giving to your spouse in each category below on a scale from 1-10. Calculate your score and compare it with the assessment scale below.

Rating Giving Patterns
SPECIAL OCCASION GIFTS. Do you buy your spouse a gift for their birthday, your anniversary, and other special holidays and occasions? How thoughtful is the gift? Did you just buy anything, or could your spouse feel your presence in it?
SURPRISE GIFTS. Do you give your spouse surprise gifts? Will you sometimes go out of your way for no logical reason to bring your spouse a gift?
CHORES. Do you give your spouse a break by sometimes doing their chores? How often? Do you have to be asked or do you sometimes surprise your spouse? Do you expect the same in return or do you unselfishly give? Are you tuned-in to when your spouse really needs a break? Do you know when your spouse needs your help? What about all the chores that are not clearly your responsibility or your spouses? Do you just do them when it needs to be done so your spouse doesn’t have to? Do you change the diaper or the light bulb without being asked?
FREE TIME. Do you give your spouse free time for themselves by relieving them of obligations or chores? Do you ever take the kids for an afternoon so your spouse can do their shopping, catch up on their work, or just relax? Are you tuned-in to when your spouse needs some free time to themselves?
YOUR TIME. Do you give your time to your spouse? Do you listen when your spouse tells you something? Do you ask questions and take the time to take interest?
SEX. Are you a giver? Are you concerned about meeting your spouse’s needs? Do you ask how you can meet their needs? Do you ask if you have met their needs? Does satisfying sex to you mean pleasing your partner too, or do you measure it according to your pleasure?
YOUR PRESENCE. How much of your heart and soul is in your giving? Can your partner feel your presence in your presents?



ASSESSMENT SCALE

0-38. OUT OF SHAPE. Learn some new skills or your marriage may not make it.

39-58. AVERAGE. If you're trying to restore your marriage, this won't do it.

59-70. MARRIAGE FITNESS CHAMPION. Well done!




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